I’d be careful of over taking responsibility. Sounds like you’re a good prospect who’s willing to do, and has, the work required to be so.
I just see women encouraged and enabled their entire lives, for generations now, to reject responsibility for their behavior and to always blame men. It’s a suicide course of mandatory authorization …
I’d be careful of over taking responsibility. Sounds like you’re a good prospect who’s willing to do, and has, the work required to be so.
I just see women encouraged and enabled their entire lives, for generations now, to reject responsibility for their behavior and to always blame men. It’s a suicide course of mandatory authorization (of women as being owed authority in matters personal, economic, political) and complete lack of accountability. The counter part is men are always told they’re “dominating the space,” “entitled,” “toxic,” and need to relinquish any and all status or authority no matter how they may have earned it (#all men) and are endlessly held accountable (for women over whom they have no authority as well as themselves) like they are original sin itself.
The current environment is so hostile towards healthy relationships I don’t see what can improve it. Essentially the cathedral’s greatest faith contingent is modern women. I don’t blame women or think they’re bad. In other words the dysfunctional totalitarian regime of government, media, academia, culture also has an interpersonal wing that feeds on prospective stable relationships like a flesh eating virus.
Even top 10/10 Chad doesn’t seem to have great options for a stable, caring, cooperative, committed partner. Of course he has endless options for (ultimately degenerative it mostly seems) sex. Unlimited flesh buffet; a walk together on a path towards the transcendent is off the menu.
Women today bail (most divorces filed by women, as well receiving custody and support, alimony). Men get left holding the bag. It just doesn’t seem worth bothering anymore. A man’s life can also be ruined at anytime by false allegations. Even if they’re dropped or disproven they linger like stains in cheap hotel rooms.
Reputation assassination - the elite soldier of gender equality (who? Me?)
Sorry to be such a doomer. I want to be wrong, I just see what I see. Of course all of the above is not true in every case but it’s the norm. It’s also the norm to continue pretending 1950’s gender norms remain as a straw man to continue moving the goal posts (pussy hats? Wheee! Areeghhh! Orange men rape!)
I hope you have good luck but if having a family is really a life priority you may want to consider moving to a country with a more traditional family culture (culturally enforced monogamy) that doesn’t incentivize divorce and judges women and men both as responsible for staying the course and upholding their duties. The mission of the west it seems is to eradicate all duty for women. They’re always welcome to do anything on an optional basis, but always with a get out of jail free card. Men have to go down with the ship. These days, even someone else’s.
I view culture and mores as to blame; not women. They are agents though arguably men are more so for enabling all of this. (Not the talibro’s though! Just kidding, bit of dark humor).
Don’t worry about things being too late. Your fertility window and attractiveness is not ending. You’ll continue to grow and mature and accumulate resources (knowledge, contacts, status, earning capacity). I would remain open to prospect of meeting someone but not expect to. Think what kind of life would you want to live if you couldn’t find someone, then dedicate yourself to that, always keeping open the possibility that you might meet someone. Men are still waiting for women to act according to the traditional script as we are still expected to do. Women don’t, haven’t been, and won’t until massive societal change. The state is a more stable, low demand protector and provide (husband) than a human male. Plus boys have cooties yuck! Girls just wanna have fun. The constant option to just get off the boring old bus ride whenever the mood strikes makes marriage (meaningful commitment) very unreliable. Add limitless sexualization and constant social media access from/to millions of people and the risk of cheating is massive; moreover it’s becoming completely de stigmatized. Slut shaming accompanies stable monogamous relationships and families. Have cake or eat, not both.
I’d say just try to focus on your goals, look at your freedom to choose exactly what path you want to walk like you won the lottery. That will be necessary to counter the black pilling experience of contemplating and accepting possibility of never meeting a competent partner in a culture which (intentionally or not) aims to totally decimate trad life, beginning with family. I hope I’m wrong but all my sciencing produces consistent conclusions.
Sorry for the rant, please take this grain of salt. It’s not all doom and gloom, we just ain’t in Kansas anymore. Life is still beautiful and a gift, disappointment, suffering and all.
> A man’s life can also be ruined at anytime by false allegations
The closest I've ever come to having my life ruined was when my coworkers discovered my pivotal involvement in a controversy centered on our distinguished Gray Mirror host. They failed. Twice.
Just so I'm not misunderstood; I'm in no way trying to place the blame at the feet of these gentlemen. I'm sincerely trying to help. Doing a courting dance is not just generations old- it's forever old. I know that lifelong partnership is very hard to find these days, much thanks to women and their boomer parents. However, as a married lady myself with a family I still value those timeless institutions and I feel they're worth fighting for. When I'm critiquing their dating styles, it should go without saying the things they should value too- hopefully they know this, but as for the women: can they cook,? can they keep tidy? are they nurturing?...By the way, modern feminism hasn't been hot shakes for women either - it's screwed everyone!
Both my great grandparents- (not that long ago) - their marriages were arranged or at least in one case, answered an ad to a widower and his motherless children - they had my grandfather and his older brother... So now what do ppl do?
But for every man wanting to make that contact there's a young lady waiting by her phone. It sounds fictional, but it's not.
I do agree with continuing to better oneself until the right one comes along and to enjoy life nonetheless. When we're enjoying the thrills of life the right one magically appears, and if not, no time wasted.
Appreciate both of your responses. TBH at this point I'd take some of that hookup culture as a consolation prize, but I can't even seem to pull that off. Over time it has become hard not to internalize this as a value judgement on myself. I will never be good enough, it seems, which is just made that much worse by the fact that they all keep getting worse and worse
Have you watched this Norwegian Netflix show, Home for Christmas? It's about this woman who is pressured to find a boyfriend by her family and out of desperation lies that she has one, then actually has to find one in time for the Christmas holidays. I kind of stopped watching after the episode when she has sex with the 17-yo, but the episode where she goes to a speed-dating event is really funny.
I'll have to check, but in the end, I think she ends up with her awkward coworker.
I’d be careful of over taking responsibility. Sounds like you’re a good prospect who’s willing to do, and has, the work required to be so.
I just see women encouraged and enabled their entire lives, for generations now, to reject responsibility for their behavior and to always blame men. It’s a suicide course of mandatory authorization (of women as being owed authority in matters personal, economic, political) and complete lack of accountability. The counter part is men are always told they’re “dominating the space,” “entitled,” “toxic,” and need to relinquish any and all status or authority no matter how they may have earned it (#all men) and are endlessly held accountable (for women over whom they have no authority as well as themselves) like they are original sin itself.
The current environment is so hostile towards healthy relationships I don’t see what can improve it. Essentially the cathedral’s greatest faith contingent is modern women. I don’t blame women or think they’re bad. In other words the dysfunctional totalitarian regime of government, media, academia, culture also has an interpersonal wing that feeds on prospective stable relationships like a flesh eating virus.
Even top 10/10 Chad doesn’t seem to have great options for a stable, caring, cooperative, committed partner. Of course he has endless options for (ultimately degenerative it mostly seems) sex. Unlimited flesh buffet; a walk together on a path towards the transcendent is off the menu.
Women today bail (most divorces filed by women, as well receiving custody and support, alimony). Men get left holding the bag. It just doesn’t seem worth bothering anymore. A man’s life can also be ruined at anytime by false allegations. Even if they’re dropped or disproven they linger like stains in cheap hotel rooms.
Reputation assassination - the elite soldier of gender equality (who? Me?)
Sorry to be such a doomer. I want to be wrong, I just see what I see. Of course all of the above is not true in every case but it’s the norm. It’s also the norm to continue pretending 1950’s gender norms remain as a straw man to continue moving the goal posts (pussy hats? Wheee! Areeghhh! Orange men rape!)
I hope you have good luck but if having a family is really a life priority you may want to consider moving to a country with a more traditional family culture (culturally enforced monogamy) that doesn’t incentivize divorce and judges women and men both as responsible for staying the course and upholding their duties. The mission of the west it seems is to eradicate all duty for women. They’re always welcome to do anything on an optional basis, but always with a get out of jail free card. Men have to go down with the ship. These days, even someone else’s.
I view culture and mores as to blame; not women. They are agents though arguably men are more so for enabling all of this. (Not the talibro’s though! Just kidding, bit of dark humor).
Don’t worry about things being too late. Your fertility window and attractiveness is not ending. You’ll continue to grow and mature and accumulate resources (knowledge, contacts, status, earning capacity). I would remain open to prospect of meeting someone but not expect to. Think what kind of life would you want to live if you couldn’t find someone, then dedicate yourself to that, always keeping open the possibility that you might meet someone. Men are still waiting for women to act according to the traditional script as we are still expected to do. Women don’t, haven’t been, and won’t until massive societal change. The state is a more stable, low demand protector and provide (husband) than a human male. Plus boys have cooties yuck! Girls just wanna have fun. The constant option to just get off the boring old bus ride whenever the mood strikes makes marriage (meaningful commitment) very unreliable. Add limitless sexualization and constant social media access from/to millions of people and the risk of cheating is massive; moreover it’s becoming completely de stigmatized. Slut shaming accompanies stable monogamous relationships and families. Have cake or eat, not both.
I’d say just try to focus on your goals, look at your freedom to choose exactly what path you want to walk like you won the lottery. That will be necessary to counter the black pilling experience of contemplating and accepting possibility of never meeting a competent partner in a culture which (intentionally or not) aims to totally decimate trad life, beginning with family. I hope I’m wrong but all my sciencing produces consistent conclusions.
Sorry for the rant, please take this grain of salt. It’s not all doom and gloom, we just ain’t in Kansas anymore. Life is still beautiful and a gift, disappointment, suffering and all.
This is a tangent but it's funny
> A man’s life can also be ruined at anytime by false allegations
The closest I've ever come to having my life ruined was when my coworkers discovered my pivotal involvement in a controversy centered on our distinguished Gray Mirror host. They failed. Twice.
Just so I'm not misunderstood; I'm in no way trying to place the blame at the feet of these gentlemen. I'm sincerely trying to help. Doing a courting dance is not just generations old- it's forever old. I know that lifelong partnership is very hard to find these days, much thanks to women and their boomer parents. However, as a married lady myself with a family I still value those timeless institutions and I feel they're worth fighting for. When I'm critiquing their dating styles, it should go without saying the things they should value too- hopefully they know this, but as for the women: can they cook,? can they keep tidy? are they nurturing?...By the way, modern feminism hasn't been hot shakes for women either - it's screwed everyone!
Both my great grandparents- (not that long ago) - their marriages were arranged or at least in one case, answered an ad to a widower and his motherless children - they had my grandfather and his older brother... So now what do ppl do?
But for every man wanting to make that contact there's a young lady waiting by her phone. It sounds fictional, but it's not.
I do agree with continuing to better oneself until the right one comes along and to enjoy life nonetheless. When we're enjoying the thrills of life the right one magically appears, and if not, no time wasted.
Sincerely,
T
Appreciate both of your responses. TBH at this point I'd take some of that hookup culture as a consolation prize, but I can't even seem to pull that off. Over time it has become hard not to internalize this as a value judgement on myself. I will never be good enough, it seems, which is just made that much worse by the fact that they all keep getting worse and worse
Have you watched this Norwegian Netflix show, Home for Christmas? It's about this woman who is pressured to find a boyfriend by her family and out of desperation lies that she has one, then actually has to find one in time for the Christmas holidays. I kind of stopped watching after the episode when she has sex with the 17-yo, but the episode where she goes to a speed-dating event is really funny.
I'll have to check, but in the end, I think she ends up with her awkward coworker.
I cancelled my netflix years ago in protest of their pushing so much poz onto everything.