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> what was it like in your 20s

22: First kiss, first lay, and first GF at 22. She moved in almost immediately, relationship started to sour because she was not a good partner, broke up at 24.

24 - 27: alone and living a miserable bugman life as a software eng in the bay area. This mostly consisted of either spending most of my spare time intoxicated while fucking around on the internet, or driving 2+ hours outside of the city to go hike somewhere nice.

27 - 29: second GF, who seemed a perfect match. Dated for a year and then lived together for a year. Then out of nowhere she dumped me and she is who I was referring to in my other comment about this post being a perfect descriptor of her

29 - 30: It took this long to get over second GF

30 - present day: mostly the personal growth as outlined below

> When you say that you spent time working on yourself, what exactly do you mean?

I have achieved wealth, financial stability, and career success, with a net worth that currently fluctuates between 600k and 800k depending how much Biden is fucking up the stock market any given week.

I started taking fitness seriously, stopped being fat, started lifting. I'm past a 2-plate squat, and very close to a 3-plate deadlift now.

I started taking health seriously. I prioritized getting a good night's sleep. I stopped eating lazy prepackaged things and started cooking healthier foods. I stopped procrastinating and took care of some chronic health issues that have been a drag on me for a long time.

I finally made progress on getting a green card, which was a blocker preventing me from most long-term life planning. If all goes according to plan, I should have permanent residency by the end of next year and possibly sooner.

I started building new friendships and community, filling up my calendar with a robust social life powered by people worth spending time with. I started creating meetup groups, organizing events, and bringing people together

I stopped investing time and emotional energy into people who didn't bring value to my life. I stopped trying to force myself to do things I don't like (ie parties where everyone just gets shitty drunk and act like hooligans) just because "that's what you're supposed to do". I started being deliberate about how I spend my social time instead of just doing whatever was available

I started taking pride in my appearance. I bought a bunch of well-fitting and stylish clothes and started dressing to impress more.

I did a lot of personal grappling with emotions and insecurities, became much more confident, and learned to feel good about myself. I stopped letting my insecurities cast a shadow over my social relationships and learned to accept when other people care about and value me

I reconciled things with some friends whose bridges I had previously burned. Several of whom are subscribed to Gray Mirror and will likely read this

I spruced up my apartment so it didn't look like a lazy bachelor lives in it.

> I were a man and single, I would consider joining the Mormon church :D

I've tried going back to church several times now but it seems that there is simply too much of a cultural gap between me and church people. I end up going somewhere for a while, don't really make any friends, get frustrated at how much I dislike most of what we're doing, and then give up and try a different church. I've decided that I'll go to a church now if and only if I have a friend who already attends that church who invites me, and I'm on the lookout for such opportunities

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