What was it like in your 20s? (I'm assuming you're in your 30s since you're talking about your 20s in the past tense). When you say that you spent time working on yourself, what exactly do you mean?
I were a man and single, I would consider joining the Mormon church :D
IIRC, they have special singles wards for such cases. And if it works out, you fill your house with a bunch of kids.
What was it like in your 20s? (I'm assuming you're in your 30s since you're talking about your 20s in the past tense). When you say that you spent time working on yourself, what exactly do you mean?
I were a man and single, I would consider joining the Mormon church :D
IIRC, they have special singles wards for such cases. And if it works out, you fill your house with a bunch of kids.
22: First kiss, first lay, and first GF at 22. She moved in almost immediately, relationship started to sour because she was not a good partner, broke up at 24.
24 - 27: alone and living a miserable bugman life as a software eng in the bay area. This mostly consisted of either spending most of my spare time intoxicated while fucking around on the internet, or driving 2+ hours outside of the city to go hike somewhere nice.
27 - 29: second GF, who seemed a perfect match. Dated for a year and then lived together for a year. Then out of nowhere she dumped me and she is who I was referring to in my other comment about this post being a perfect descriptor of her
29 - 30: It took this long to get over second GF
30 - present day: mostly the personal growth as outlined below
> When you say that you spent time working on yourself, what exactly do you mean?
I have achieved wealth, financial stability, and career success, with a net worth that currently fluctuates between 600k and 800k depending how much Biden is fucking up the stock market any given week.
I started taking fitness seriously, stopped being fat, started lifting. I'm past a 2-plate squat, and very close to a 3-plate deadlift now.
I started taking health seriously. I prioritized getting a good night's sleep. I stopped eating lazy prepackaged things and started cooking healthier foods. I stopped procrastinating and took care of some chronic health issues that have been a drag on me for a long time.
I finally made progress on getting a green card, which was a blocker preventing me from most long-term life planning. If all goes according to plan, I should have permanent residency by the end of next year and possibly sooner.
I started building new friendships and community, filling up my calendar with a robust social life powered by people worth spending time with. I started creating meetup groups, organizing events, and bringing people together
I stopped investing time and emotional energy into people who didn't bring value to my life. I stopped trying to force myself to do things I don't like (ie parties where everyone just gets shitty drunk and act like hooligans) just because "that's what you're supposed to do". I started being deliberate about how I spend my social time instead of just doing whatever was available
I started taking pride in my appearance. I bought a bunch of well-fitting and stylish clothes and started dressing to impress more.
I did a lot of personal grappling with emotions and insecurities, became much more confident, and learned to feel good about myself. I stopped letting my insecurities cast a shadow over my social relationships and learned to accept when other people care about and value me
I reconciled things with some friends whose bridges I had previously burned. Several of whom are subscribed to Gray Mirror and will likely read this
I spruced up my apartment so it didn't look like a lazy bachelor lives in it.
> I were a man and single, I would consider joining the Mormon church :D
I've tried going back to church several times now but it seems that there is simply too much of a cultural gap between me and church people. I end up going somewhere for a while, don't really make any friends, get frustrated at how much I dislike most of what we're doing, and then give up and try a different church. I've decided that I'll go to a church now if and only if I have a friend who already attends that church who invites me, and I'm on the lookout for such opportunities
What was it like in your 20s? (I'm assuming you're in your 30s since you're talking about your 20s in the past tense). When you say that you spent time working on yourself, what exactly do you mean?
I were a man and single, I would consider joining the Mormon church :D
IIRC, they have special singles wards for such cases. And if it works out, you fill your house with a bunch of kids.
> what was it like in your 20s
22: First kiss, first lay, and first GF at 22. She moved in almost immediately, relationship started to sour because she was not a good partner, broke up at 24.
24 - 27: alone and living a miserable bugman life as a software eng in the bay area. This mostly consisted of either spending most of my spare time intoxicated while fucking around on the internet, or driving 2+ hours outside of the city to go hike somewhere nice.
27 - 29: second GF, who seemed a perfect match. Dated for a year and then lived together for a year. Then out of nowhere she dumped me and she is who I was referring to in my other comment about this post being a perfect descriptor of her
29 - 30: It took this long to get over second GF
30 - present day: mostly the personal growth as outlined below
> When you say that you spent time working on yourself, what exactly do you mean?
I have achieved wealth, financial stability, and career success, with a net worth that currently fluctuates between 600k and 800k depending how much Biden is fucking up the stock market any given week.
I started taking fitness seriously, stopped being fat, started lifting. I'm past a 2-plate squat, and very close to a 3-plate deadlift now.
I started taking health seriously. I prioritized getting a good night's sleep. I stopped eating lazy prepackaged things and started cooking healthier foods. I stopped procrastinating and took care of some chronic health issues that have been a drag on me for a long time.
I finally made progress on getting a green card, which was a blocker preventing me from most long-term life planning. If all goes according to plan, I should have permanent residency by the end of next year and possibly sooner.
I started building new friendships and community, filling up my calendar with a robust social life powered by people worth spending time with. I started creating meetup groups, organizing events, and bringing people together
I stopped investing time and emotional energy into people who didn't bring value to my life. I stopped trying to force myself to do things I don't like (ie parties where everyone just gets shitty drunk and act like hooligans) just because "that's what you're supposed to do". I started being deliberate about how I spend my social time instead of just doing whatever was available
I started taking pride in my appearance. I bought a bunch of well-fitting and stylish clothes and started dressing to impress more.
I did a lot of personal grappling with emotions and insecurities, became much more confident, and learned to feel good about myself. I stopped letting my insecurities cast a shadow over my social relationships and learned to accept when other people care about and value me
I reconciled things with some friends whose bridges I had previously burned. Several of whom are subscribed to Gray Mirror and will likely read this
I spruced up my apartment so it didn't look like a lazy bachelor lives in it.
> I were a man and single, I would consider joining the Mormon church :D
I've tried going back to church several times now but it seems that there is simply too much of a cultural gap between me and church people. I end up going somewhere for a while, don't really make any friends, get frustrated at how much I dislike most of what we're doing, and then give up and try a different church. I've decided that I'll go to a church now if and only if I have a friend who already attends that church who invites me, and I'm on the lookout for such opportunities